It’s getting heavy.
I don’t think anyone understands me anymore.
They ask me:
“so, who’s your new best friend?”
Mom, it’s still her,
the one who gifted me life that’s a blur.
It’s still the intricate hearted girl that once cared too deeply,
and today, hates equally deep.
I’m on a foreign land with close people.
But it feels like I’m on a known land with foreign people.
I don’t go into the sea, yet I drown everyday.
I get lost while coming back home and find help, but I forget you’re not here.
I hit myself and no one cares, because you’re not here.
Yesterday, I went for a hike, in the mountains.
Somehow wanted to calm myself down.
I lost my way there, and ended up in a bar, drinking until I didn’t cry and there faded my frown.
Days are good the nights are worse.
I feel like I’m caught under a bone braking curse.
I speak and no one listens, but I’m silent and everyone’s ears.
Again, I make my way to the bar, with a new face everyday, glasses clink, cheers.
Mom, I didn’t know people were so unkind.
Mom, I didn’t know my kindness would make me fake.
Mom, don’t be mad at me if I decide to push the break.
The campfire lit today at a party I didn’t want to go.
My heavy body, consumes everyone’s sadness regardless of my meek, “no.”
The campfire started big and now it’s just a flame, dying out.
People have left and I’m the only one dying in my doubt.
So, mom? know that I tried, know that I did my best, know that I wanted to come back home.
My tired little soul, will make its way to you, after I roam.
Roam the places I wanted to visit.
Roam the cafés I wanted to sip.
The hottest coffee at, leaving behind a decent tip.
Roam the parks I wish id sit and write poetry in.
Roam the airports where it began.
Mom, I never knew, the world would banish me, a madman.
Hey mom, don’t cry.
Hey mom, don’t waste your beautiful diamonds over my loss.
I’ll wait for you here, a place surrounded by none, for when you and I shall come across.