Hi, mom.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels.com

Hi mom.

It’s getting heavy. 

I don’t think anyone understands me anymore. 

They ask me:

“so, who’s your new best friend?”

Mom, it’s still her,

the one who gifted me life that’s a blur. 

It’s still the intricate hearted girl that once cared too deeply,

and today, hates equally deep.

I’m on a foreign land with close people. 

But it feels like I’m on a known land with foreign people. 

I don’t go into the sea, yet I drown everyday. 

I get lost while coming back home and find help, but I forget you’re not here. 

I hit myself and no one cares, because you’re not here. 

Yesterday, I went for a hike, in the mountains. 

Somehow wanted to calm myself down. 

I lost my way there, and ended up in a bar, drinking until I didn’t cry and there faded my frown. 

Days are good the nights are worse.

I feel like I’m caught under a bone braking curse. 

I speak and no one listens, but I’m silent and everyone’s ears. 

Again, I make my way to the bar, with a new face everyday, glasses clink, cheers.

Mom, I didn’t know people were so unkind.

Mom, I didn’t know my kindness would make me fake.

Mom, don’t be mad at me if I decide to push the break.

The campfire lit today at a party I didn’t want to go.

My heavy body, consumes everyone’s sadness regardless of my meek, “no.”

The campfire started big and now it’s just a flame, dying out. 

People have left and I’m the only one dying in my doubt. 

So, mom? know that I tried, know that I did my best, know that I wanted to come back home.

My tired little soul, will make its way to you, after I roam. 

Roam the places I wanted to visit.

Roam the cafés I wanted to sip.

The hottest coffee at, leaving behind a decent tip. 

Roam the parks I wish id sit and write poetry in. 

Roam the airports where it began. 

Mom, I never knew, the world would banish me, a madman. 

Hey mom, don’t cry.

Hey mom, don’t waste your beautiful diamonds over my loss.

I’ll wait for you here, a place surrounded by none, for when you and I shall come across.

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